Most of us live with unease in our mind, which includes the heart. Unease can arise very easily, especially when we don’t get what we want. For example, we want a work project to go smoothly without changes. We want to live happily at home without the children being disobedient. We want to live healthily without any disease till old age. We want a stable political system with honest politicians. We want a stable job, that is fun and fulfilling at the same time. But we all know, all of these are almost impossible. But what is more impossible is the fact we seldom notice the unease in our hearts. That is because we spend so much time running away from it. The good news is, you can learn to replace unease in your heart with ease.
Recognizing What is Unease
There is uneasiness in our hearts when they are some stress, anxiety, or worry. Most of us deny unease to reflect a strong personality who is unperturbed by emotions. Most of us think that people who are honest with their emotions are weak. But emotions play a key role in our experience. We often act upon emotions but yet deny them with logical explanations. Emotions offer a clue to our wellbeing by giving us a clue to what ills us within.
To learn how to replace unease with ease in our hearts begin with honesty. We have to learn to be honest with ourselves. For example, you may complain about how your boss or a family member annoys you. You air your grievances by letting the listener know that you aren’t complaining, but merely stating a fact of your undesired situation. Only a weakling complains right? That could be your belief. But in doing so, you suppress your stress and deny it with your logical explanation, allowing unease to further grow in your heart and to consume you. So the work of releasing stress, annoyance, fear anger, worry, anxiety no matter how subtle (all are feelings of uneasiness), requires you to be honest with yourself.
Ease Cannot Be Found Outside
We have spent our lives making outer conditions agreeable with us in order to be happy. This includes altering nature and consuming more. However, our want and consumption of more and more things only cause nature to go haywire. That is because of our inability to recognize our ills within and instead try to correct our unease with outer conditions. Not only our environment, but we are willing to go to war against those who annoy us immensely.
War starts from within us. If not, how could it manifest in the world? When we try to tolerate someone or suppress our feelings of ill towards another or ourselves, we are in conflict within. But does this mean that we have to confront another to make them yield to us? Or do we continue to self-criticize and suppress ourselves to justify how we feel? Well, we have seen how this has manifested in our world. We have caused world wars to climate change and endless stress. All suppression and conflict begin from within.
How to replace unease with ease?
Perhaps the greatest story ever told about replacing unease with ease in the midst of difficult situations is the image of Jesus Christ carrying the cross. Despite being in an extremely difficult situation, he did not run away or blame another. Instead, he replaced the immense pain and stress by expressing forgiveness and love. That is because Jesus knew that happiness can only emanate from within and it is impossible to run away from death – one of the biggest fears of human beings. He was teaching us all to be at ease through his decision to be put on the cross.
Needless to say, we do not have the lion’s strength of mind and heart as Jesus did. But we can all learn to do it step by step. Once we recognize the ills that are always hiding somewhere in our hearts and acknowledge them, we can start realizing that nothing we have done in the outer world has soothed that ill. This recognition is the start of wanting to learn how to live with ease no matter who or what annoys us.
When you have made the decision to live with ease, you start to recognize thoughts and feelings that cause you stress. The observing mind can be strengthened by meditation. Meditation provides the stability for the mind to quiet down. Mindfulness allows you to discern the causes of unease in your heart.
You start to let go of unkindly thoughts when you realize you are the cause of the unease in your heart. That is because when you decide to be joyful, no one can take that joy away. You begin seeing the wisdom to replace thoughts of irritation, worry, and sadness with thoughts of kindness, love, and forgiveness towards yourself. Mindfulness means to do this as many moments as possible in the course of a day and every day. What we place our attention on can only grow in feelings. Soon, this feeling of kindness and love emanates and may even influence those around you.